Top 10 Excuses for Not Dancing with Too Left Feet

"Well, excuse me!"

"I'll try, but there is no excuse for you!"

<< I can't dance; my feet are blue!

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10.  "I'm too awkward (or fat, or ugly, or tone-deaf, or tall, or short, or near-sighted, or in some other way just not perfect enough)."


>> A whole lot of imperfect dancers are waiting for you to join the club.  Come try it and see if you're really the whatever-est person in the room; if you are, I'll let you go home, but I doubt if you'll even 
stand out.  I, personally, feel sorry for those good-looking, graceful, perfect people: apparently they're so afraid of being stared at, that I've never even met any of them.

9. "The guy(woman) I'm dating(married to) doesn't dance."
>> A lot of us dancers are, or have been, in the same boat.  It's not necessarily a fatal problem.  Convince your "significant other" to come and watch just once; they'll either get bored and tell you to come by yourself, or they'll learn to dance.  If you don't want to be out dancing with "partners", talk to my wife, Edie, about line-dancing (no partners!).

8. "I'm too old to learn."
>> If you say that too loud, a bunch of us mature dancers will come over to your house and slap you silly with our AARP cards.  I was born in 1955, by the way.

7. "I'll make a fool of myself."
>> How?  Who do you think will judge you?  This isn't Dancing with the Stars, folks, it's social dancing.  At any social dance you'll find struggling beginners all the way up to really fine experienced dancers.  Every last one of them will dance with you, help you, and encourage you.  Mean people don't dance socially; we scare them away!

6. "I have a cold (or flu, or measles, or...)"
>> OK.  Fine.  I'll give you this one.  If you go out dancing while contagious, then everybody will dance with you and we'll all get sick.  Stay home tonight, and come dancing in a couple of weeks!

5. "I had to go to a Tupperware party (or school reunion, or take my mother to accordion class, or ...)"
>> Hmmmm.

4. "I won't be able to learn; I can't remember stuff like that very well."
>> Can you remember how to snap your fingers?  How about whistling?  Can you keep track of which hand is your left, even when your pockets are empty?  You're fine, then.

3. "I'm a woman, and I constantly try to lead.  It just won't work!"

  • >> So, lead if you want.  Somebody's got to do it.  Many men will let you, and many women will dance with you.  My bet is that you really mean you don't want to follow.  Maybe that's because you don't really understand the whole lead & follow idea.
  • >> If you want to follow, I can teach you.  Following is not about being passive, or taking orders, or being subservient.  Lead & follow is about dividing up the responsibilities of a partnership, and keeping to the part that's yours.  Following's plenty hard, why would you want to lead, too? 
  • >> If you don't want to dance with a partner, talk to my wife, Edie, about line-dancing.

2. "I broke my toe, sprained an ankle, or had a wart removed..."
>> Never undertake a physical activity against the advice of your doctor, but I see people with paralyzed arms, fused back vertebra, and various other challenges, out there dancing every week.  I've broken toes twice (kicking furniture, by accident: graceful I'm NOT!), but I never missed teaching a class.  Different dances stress different parts of your body; I can't Waltz with a broken toe, I've discovered.  Your dancing friends won't care if you can't Polka this week, but they'll miss you if you sit home.  Even if you don't feel like dancing much, you can still show up and socialize.

 1.  "On the way to class, a big wind blew the hood off my truck."
>> Actually, the guy that said this still showed up, he was just a little late!

0.  "I am going to be doing other people's income taxes this year, so I may not be able to attend classes until the rush is over."
>> Sigh.  You'd think he'd WANT to take a break, wouldn't you?