Two Left Feet, Two Feet Left, Left Two Feet, Two Feet to the Left?

 

Nope!

Too Left Feet!

So, what's up with the name "Too Left Feet" instead of "Two Left Feet"?

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No, it's not a typo.  My feet are just excessively left, even the right one.

 OK.  I would have used the name "Two Left Feet", but that name's taken (a dance studio out in California owns the domain TwoLeftFeet.com).  So I played around and discovered that the nearest name that made any sense at all was "TooLeftFeet.com".  So, I tried to rationalize using that name, instead. 

I decided that, while I don't actually have two left feet, my feet certainly ARE "too" left.  Lots of creatures have at least two left feet (mountain goats, cats, horses) and yet are graceful and coordinated.  I, however, am not very coordinated, and certainly never thought of myself as graceful, so "too left" made sense... 

This is the funniest part, to me, when I look at how dancing has infiltrated every part of my life: I thought dancing took some kind of special skill.  For years I wanted to dance, but was convinced I couldn't.  As a kid, and teenager, I tried to dance but never figured it out.  As a young adult I tried to pick up on the "disco dancing" craze of the late 70's, but it never worked.  Advice like "let the music move you" never made any sense. 

My feet just didn't seem to know how to dance.  It was very frustrating.

One day, I was faced with a crisis.  Two of my wife's best friends were single, and had started taking dance lessons, at a franchised-chain studio, as a way to meet guys.  The studio had a deal that if students recruited friends to come in and take lessons, the recruiters could get some free instruction time, so these two ladies started telling my wife how great the dancing thing was.

My wife, of course, started telling me we ought to take lessons.  I saw nothing but an oncoming disaster that included wasting a lot of money.  But the more my wife's friends talked to her, the more she talked to me.  I was feeling desperate, and trapped.

Lo and behold, I was sitting at my desk at home pondering my situation, when the telephone rang.  It was a famous franchised-chain dance studio, calling me to make a "special offer".  They said "Come in this week and we'll give you TWO FREE LESSONS!!!!"

So, emotionally and mentally I went into overload mode, shorted out, reset, and decided on the spot to put aside all the insecurity.  For a cost of zero dollars, I thought, I can tolerate two hours of anything if it'll just get my wife off my back, and prove once and for all that NOBODY could ever teach me to dance.

I was wrong.  Go figure.

I discovered that when somebody breaks it all down into simple pieces and tells you exactly what to do, it's just not that hard.  It's much easier than setting the time on the kitchen stove, the VCR or the DVR.  If I can do it, you can do it!